One Year
by AsheriteAbyss13
Summary: In one year things can change drastically. Romance is in the air but is that necessarily a good thing? For good or for worse one person will gain no matter what.
1. Even if Haruno Yukinoshita isn't God

Yeah so I'm just gonna write a new scenario for our troubled teens. I'm inspired by the new amount of Oregairu fanfictions. Anyways I'm praying that I don't lose my motivation to write this new one again. Anyways let me try something new.

Instead of leaving the narration to Hachiman or Yukino as I've done so before I'll start off with the highly ominious big sister of Yukino: Haruno. Mind you this is my take on her character.

* * *

One Year

January-Even if Haruno Yukinoshita isn't God…..

* * *

I've always wondered.

It's strictly a fun question of course, seeing as I don't really believe in a higher power.

But...

If he was real.

Why would God even create us?

Why would God a perfect being need to create humans?

People claim that's it's all because of his love. But you know I kinda wanna call BS on that.

I mean its not really possible to love something without existence right?

Maybe he wanted to prove his love? But even so he is the most powerful and superior being at the time. He doesn't need proof.

So I began to think. What is God exactly?

And really only one word comes to mind.

Perfect. A being of pure perfection. A being with the power to do anything he wanted.

So what was it that God sought?

What was the thing that was even beyond God the perfect being?

I find to my surprise that the answer is in 'perfection'.

By being perfect there was only one thing that God was not; imperfect.

I think that at some point that things were getting boring with perfection in his life.

So along his lines of thinking he must have sought fun to do.

Particularly a tiny little experiment.

What happens if I bring imperfection to the world?

What will change? What will eventually happen to the world that I created? How much fun was I going to get from this? What different types of imperfection can breed without my help?

I bet you that this and many other questions ran through God's head as he made humans the imperfect beings.

What sort of new entertainment am I going to get this time round?

God must think of this every day.

Of course that means that he doesn't like things going on for too long.

Too much despair.

Too much happiness.

Too much grief.

Too much hope.

Too much hatred.

Too much of any emotion.

All these things God must hate because it gets boring.

But I suppose if there is a key emotion that God does love forever it must be...

Love.

Just think of it. Add a drop of love to a person with differing personalities and then a new differing combination of situations of love arises.

New emotions.

New frustrations.

New misunderstandings.

New interesting samples.

And now I as continue to ponder the makings of the universe I manage to find an irony in my thoughts.

That amongst all of the humans in this earth that I find more kinship with a being that doesn't really exist.

Though to be honest with you I wouldn't mind believing in a God that toys with human's for entertainment.

After all I can sympathize. What's a perfect person meant to do?

Okay I'm not perfect. Me thinking like this is full proof of this. But still managing to handle all the situation given to me and then fulfilling all the expectations of me with a genuine smile what's left to entertain me?

Well the answer to my own question is obvious.

Love of course.

And snow, piles and piles of snow under snow.

And I simply can't forget the 80000 points left in store.

"Happy New Years everybody! How are you going to entertain your Onee-san this year?!"

* * *

Shopping districts are fun.

I'm of the belief that if you pay close enough attention to people for an extended period of time you could understand what were by what they buy and how they buy it.

For example. The guy that goes straight to the department store, leaves the store in 5 minutes max and returns home all within 15 or so minutes must be a pratical guy.

And the girl who spends her time window shopping with such longing is probably a girl who wants to be noticed but doesn't have the means herself to do so.

So what does that say about the clearly distressed boy I see several metres in front of me?

I mean the presence of such an entity, a lonerish one at that, in a crowded shopping centre was very rare.

I mean rarer that finding a metal king slime.

I bet you the only thing with that level of rarity was Raku actually confessing to a girl.

Now the normal process would to be to shock him by calling him out.

But since this time he came here of his own accord...

I'm curious!

Now he might pride himself on not being noticed but it's not really effective if someone actually was stalking him.

What was he was going to buy?

Who was he going to buy it for?

Was he meeting someone? If so who?

All these questions surged in my head.

Seeing him turn into the boy's toliets made me lose my intial vigour. Waiting outside was boring but it couldn't be helped.

"Can't follow him in there can I? I don't really want questions."

But the world tends to like me.

I mean what other explanation I am going to get for seeing his own very little sister stalking him.

And like a bored student who was hit in the face by a paper ball she turned her immediate attention to me.

"Ah Yukinoshita-san right?"

"We've never really met in a while have we?"

She shook her head.

"Well in that case just call me Haruno. Or prehaps you'd like to call me Haru-nee?" I teased.

I suppose that I said the right thing since her eyes lit up as if she found herself the ally she'd always wanted.

"Ah in that case I'll be in your care in law-san!"

The way she made that mistake was kinda cute.

"Just so we're clear, I'm not accepting anymore application forms past this month so please voice your interest in him before this day ends." She brazenly declared.

"Holding your brother's life in your hands huh? You're reminding me of myself."

Well perhaps not to the full extent.

"You flatter me, Haruno-san. But you really don't like him right?"

"Like him? Of course I do?"

"What does that mean I have to add you the list of potentials?!" She exclaimed loud enough to get a few heads turning.

"Whilst the opportunity for fun here is self-evident, I've got a policy of keeping my interference on an indirect level. Still he might grow to the point where he might get interesting enough…."

"Okay, well then. I'll add you to the list as 'undecided'."

She pulled out her phone and began to take something down. I glanced over her shoulder and saw the title.

List of Onii-chan's potential girlfriends.

Yukino Yukinoshita (Yukino-san)-interested party-Komachi approves! Nice match, will probably shape Onii-chan well. Recently acting odd (source; me).

Yui Yuigahama (Yui-san)-long time admirer!-Komachi approves! Really nice but Onii-chan will need to learn how to cook. Yui-san been kinda fidgety lately. Is it because graduation is coming up?

Kawasaki Saki-(Taishi's Onee-chan)- If all else fails she might not?

Isshiki Iroha (Isshiki-senpai)- 2nd year high school student. Student Council president. Claims to like some else but her interactions with Onii-chan tends to contradict that statement.

She began to update her list with a new entry.

Haruno Yukinoshita (Haru-nee or in law san). I can't tell whether she's an ally or an interested party. She seems nice enough and really pretty. As expected of the Yukinoshita family.

It was a rather cute description of things but who knew that a loner could have so many admirers.

She began to grin. And pointed her finger to the boy's toilet several metres ahead of us.

Our prey had emerged.

Seeing as we had the same goal we decided to follow him together.

We spent several minutes following him. He was wandering aimlessly judging by his direction.

Was he really just wasting time?

"No he isn't wasting time. Onii-chan wouldn't put this much effort to leaving the house if he wanted to waste time!" She declared as if reading my mind.

"Besides he's been looking intently for something for the past day or so! And he's been getting more agitated by the day."

"See he's looking at another shop!"

But apparently he wasn't going to find what he wanted in that shop.

Damnit what was he trying to find?

He spent another boring 15 minutes searching the large shopping mall. Until he found himself sprawled on the nearest bench.

"Ah it seems that Onii-chan's getting tired! Ah I wish I could help him! But he needs to experience things on his own!"

But perhaps luck was shining on him that day.

With a look as if he found thing he was searching for he rose from his seated position and ran!

Naturally we followed him.

To the Destinyland shop.

Grinning was one of my favorite skills. Out of all my talents my favorite skill was my ability to smile.

Evil, happy or polite I was a master of all of them.

99% of people would probably think I'm smiling genuinely all the time. And 99% of people are correct.

I can say for certain that 100% of the times I smile are generated through genuine reasons.

The best of intentions? Perhaps not. Interest most definitely.

So it's no wonder that I felt face stretch to its utmost limits.

Especially went he came out clutching a small brown bag, looking at it nervously.

Putting two plus two together is always a fun occasion.

"Say little sister-san? You mind updating that list of yours?"

She smiled too.

But if someone asked who smiled the hardest then the answer was most certainly me.

There was no chance that anyone could smile harder than me.

After all there wasn't anything else I had such passionate feelings for.

Well this was gonna be fun!

* * *

The next day. 3rd of January.

Normally today would be a day where my parent's would interfere and drag Yukino around somewhere.

But today they were on a business trip overseas.

Lucky!

I really didn't want them interfering.

But right now things were boring. Sitting in a coffee shop waiting was boring. Was this how it felt to be scientist waiting for an experiment to have results?

I had no choice but to rely on my new information source; Komachi.

Things this year was very interesting.

Usually What-its-gahama would be here. But as luck would have it, she isn't here. Family trip or something. Either way that isn't the main point of interest.

This means that any outside interference in influencing him to celebrate Yukino-chan's birthday were zilch.

That meant that he was doing this out of his own volition, not out of being nagged to death.

Whether that meant he had feelings for her or not.

Whether that meant he was obligated to come out of guilt.

Whether he was merely bored and wanted a chance of pace.

Whether they were friends.

Whether they were lovers.

Whether she wanted her company on a cold day.

Whether we're planning something.

Whether they we're crying their eyes out.

Whether they we fighting to save the world or even attempting to destroy it.

I really don't care. I just want to know. I don't care about the consequences of their actions.

Hell even if they're trying to plot my death.

Hell even if they're making babies right now.

Hell even if they were planning to run away.

Hell even if they planned to go off in a shotgun marriage.

I really wouldn't mind.

Of course reality isn't so exciting so I calmed myself.

My phone rung.

" _Ara! Haruno-san? It seems that they've met up. Yeah they're headed in your direction."_

"Say little sister? Are you happy?"

" _What with these questions?"_

"Just answer. I would like to know why you're so intent on matchmaking your brother.

" _Couldn't this apply to you as well? Ah well."_

" _I just wanna see him happy is all. Seeing him happy gives me the satisfaction that being a little sister must bring. Really it's a selfish wish I presume. I have no idea whether onii-chan even wants to date anyone."_

"Self-satisfaction huh? Makes sense. Not so removed from my own reason…."

"Still headed to this place huh? I'd best retreat from this place. Say little sister was that recording device working?"

" _The bluetooth one? Yeah it is. They're just bantering as usual."_

Komachi had secretly installed a three way conversation recorder/listener on the both of them. It could pick out their voices but anything else was impossible.

" _Ya know Haru-nee? I kinda feel like a spy."_

"Well in most countries this would be considering spying. But hey you're his little sister he ain't gonna be too mad if he finds out."

" _That's not really assuring."_

I could almost hear her sweat drop.

" _Still they're relationship must be close right? I mean a gift exchange in public?"_

"You know. I don't really think they're here for the express purpose of a gift exchange or celebration. Those two aren't so brazen that they'll go outside even if they were intimate."

" _So what the operation is a bust then?"_

"No it isn't. It just means that they have some express purpose in coming out. Most likely to meet someone seeing as those two wouldn't like people entering their homes and that they wouldn't be as impractical to go off to places with no reason."

" _Ah they're at the coffee shop. You should connect to the blue-tooth thing as well Haru-nee!"_

I did as I was advised and retreated to an obscure corner of the coffee shop.

" _ **Hikigaya-kun. Why did you choose this place for the meeting?"**_

" **No choice really. She wouldn't meet anywhere else, seeing as a ramen stall was forbidden."**

" _ **If you seriously thought ramen stall was a great meeting place then you're solely mistaken. Besides that wasn't what I was asking. Why choose this place? You should know it right? Nee-chan frequents this place."**_

It's too late Yukino-chan.

" **Well it's too late to change. Besides here they are."**

" _ **Fine."**_

And right on time came Isshiki Iroha and Shizuka Hiratsuka.

" _ **So what plans do you have in mind?"**_

" **16** **th** **of February huh? Oi oi, this thing is meant to be month away right?"**

" **Why now of all times?!"**

He seemed pretty pissed. The girl seemed to have shocked him.

" **Third years last ball huh? All years invited? Don't tell me…."**

The girl blocked his mouth. Seems like she can be pretty threatening.

" _Say Haru nee. Doesn't Yukino-san look a bit flustered?"_

"Flustered? Well she's probably pissed that see isn't getting a chance to speak….."

Hey, hey was this really my sister? Wouldn't she be interjecting at this point?

" **So you guys just need help in promoting the thing right? Is the student council that understaffed?"**

" **What are we the school journalists?"**

" _ **Well Hikigaya-kun, there is probably no point in arguing. At least we've had fair warning this time."**_

" _ **The overall structure is to be decided with the Council correct?"**_

And so as expertly as they entered they left the coffee shop.

" _That's all? I was hoping for more….."_

"No it was an interesting little tibit. Things are heating up. If anything we know that Yukino-chan is flustered by this idea of a ball of sorts. Plus the day isn't over yet."

So we followed them all the way to Yukino-chan's apartment.

Oh what was this?

Ah the gift.

" **Just so you know. This isn't because I wanted give you one, it was err Komachi and Yuigahama…They insisted so…."**

" _ **Thank you Hikigaya-kun. I s-suppose th-hat it'll be too rude of me to ask you to watch this with me?"**_

" **Well no its not but?...Asking a boy to watch a movie?"**

" _ **You should be pleased that a girl like me even considered the offer. If you don't want to…"**_

" **No it's fine but."**

" _ **It's just Pan-san the Panda movie requires more than one person to watch it at a time.**_

He rubbed his head. He hadn't heard of that excuse before and either had I.

But he nodded in agreement.

And so they entered the apartment. To a place where I had no power over.

And so on that oddly chilly January evening. An evening which even skies began to react to as it began to snow interesting developments began to talk hold.

And on that evening where everyone cheered in delight in the snow, I cheered the loudest.

Whatever was to happen was of no concern to me.

Yet I smiled.

I wouldn't trade this for all the power in the world.

Being able to see into the future was boring.

And so I laughed.

Whether it was happiness or sadness that would befall on them, I wished them luck.

"Say little sister. Give them my regards kay! I've got things to adjust."

On this day I couldn't help but wonder about God once more.

Was he pleased today?

Even if he wasn't I certainly was….

* * *

Well that the end of the first chapter. Man I like using Haruno. I seem to relate more to Haruno that any other character though Hachiman and Yukino are still my favorites. Expect her to comeback and expect other people's POV for things to come.

I don't own Oregairu.

Please review and like at your leisure.

AsheriteAbyss13.


	2. No matter what Hayama Hayato remains

Well I hope you liked the first chapter so here's the second. Sorry for the potential grammar mistakes but I really don't care enough to fix my writing style. Well I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.

* * *

February-No matter what Hayama Hayato remains powerless.

I wonder how long ago it has been since I had a peaceful February.

Well to be exact, a peaceful week before Valentine's Day.

I don't consider it arrogance but I doubt anyone would feel the same.

It's nice to be within everybody's thoughts but….

It's stifling.

Let me breath.

Let me feel the chilly February air.

Let me go…

And yet it's obvious.

I can't….

This is the daily life that I out of my own volition committed myself to.

I do not want the things if built to crumble.

But even if I didn't want it to crumble, it will.

The platform's cracked.

And it's sliding down to the lowest pits.

So I'll let it slide towards the end, whilst being careful not to let it break.

If there is a hope it's that these people that surround me.

These people who make my February air hot and stuffy.

Will forget me eventually. They'll regard me as a foolish high-school crush when they're with the love of their lives.

Still before the end comes, I have to see things through.

I have to atone to her.

I have to see him off.

I need to make it up to her.

But I no longer have that power.

"Ah no I'm sorry. I can't, sorry."

At this point my mouth must be on auto loop.

"Ah no I'm sorry."

When will this end?

Without thinking I headed to the station.

Well perhaps the only thought I had was escape.

I mean why else did I naturally gravitate to this karaoke place.

I have the vague sense that I went here with my friends several times. But I had no power even in my memories.

I was about to head home.

"Ara. Is that Hayato-kun? Well that's nice. Come over here, we'll sing a few songs."

Rang out that cold half interested half disinterested voice.

She of all people.

A person who was most confusing.

A person who made things confusing.

A person who made people confusing.

A person who made feelings confusing.

And perhaps the most important of all, a person who made me confused.

Did I like her?

Hate her?

Of course it wasn't that simple.

"Ah sorry. I can't" I repeated.

"Hayato, you'd make a perfect broken cd you know? Don't worry about things. I can say you were with me and everything'll be solved."

And I knew that to be true.

My parents.

And most certainly everyone around her was under her thrall.

That included me, one of the people who knew a bit of her nature.

And so realising that my body was already moving without my wishes, my mind resigned to its failure.

Of course this wasn't going to be fun.

If we were alone then…..It can't be good.

I find to my surprise that I'm not alone.

Well to be exact she had guest but when I entered the booth he or she was leaving.

"Wasn't that…"

"Hikigaya's sister? Yeah, we've gotten closer….."

She smiled. A smile that generated only genuine feelings.

So creepy.

"What the hell are planning this time?" I asked tiredly.

"Nothing much. Well useless you count little sister's plans for her brother."

"I don't trust you." I challenged.

"Sure I don't care. It does make things more interesting. I do hate it when everything is at your beck and call."

"Still Hayato. Still would you be able to challenge me? I do doubt it but I can't underestimate that chance." She told me teasingly.

She was teasing me and being serious at the same time.

"What do you want!? How much are you gonna mess with him and her?!"

She shook her head and closed my lips with her lips. Her body was on me. She wasn't heavy but I really had no strength.

"Shh. Hayato. They'll kick us out if we continue this loud. Or are you suggesting you want to get it louder?" She asked me seductively.

"Get off me!" I exclaimed

"Ugh you're no fun. You should real let go Hayato. A beautiful Onee-chan just seduced you. Look something else in here is agreeing with me." She told me as she got off me.

She pointed to my pants. Nothing was happening.

"Kidding kidding. But I wasn't kidding about letting go. I wouldn't mind someone like you."

I gulped.

"And you'd achieve your hearts desires?"

Hearts desires? What were they again?

To be free of expectations.

To get her?

"Oh I'm joking again aren't I?"

"I mean you don't have any desires do you?"

Silence.

The silence only affirmed her words.

"You're terribly powerless. And to top it all off you don't have anything that'll make you happy. You don't even want to know. A victim to his own nature." She described me with a vicious look.

But her look abated. And was replaced with a thousand watt smile.

"That's why you're so interesting!" She declared.

She was like a child. A moody one.

"I thought I wasn't interesting to you?" I challenged.

She crawled closer back to her position on top of me.

"No. I've never seen such a person more suited for success look so bloody lost. My initial evaluation wasn't correct."

Now she was straight on top of me. Lowering her head.

"So simply help me Hayato and I'll help you." She whispered in my ear.

She rose from her position on my body.

"Okay, Hayato-kun!"

"Fine, seeing as I can't stop you. So what do you want me to do?" I ceded bitterly.

"It's simple, just get me into that ball of yours." Haruno exclaimed.

"Wait, how do you know?"

"Source confidentiality, Hayato."

"You don't want me to get them to come?" I asked suggesting the two of them.

"They'll come whether they want to or not. They're part of the planning committee and they would come anyways since it's compulsory for them to come." Haruno explained.

"Isshiki huh?" I pondered.

"Yeah she's the one. I really have to thank her. She created the ideal opportunity." She praised and smiled.

"You don't really need my help do you?" I questioned after a minute

silence.

She shook her head

"No, whether I got your help or not I would have come anyway. I have desires to achieve and my promise to little sister-san still remains."

"That means…."

"Yeah I was just teasing you. Again. But still, Hayato my promise with you still stands, you help me and I'll show you something good."

She left the box gracefully, leaving me in tatters.

Leaving me to ponder my chances.

I'm not melodramatic. But I am pissed.

* * *

February the 16th. Valentine's Day.

"Wha you're so lucky Hayato-kun! So many choco, ya know!" Tobe exclaimed

"I'd wish someone would give me toothpaste." I replied half-jokingly.

I glanced at my sports bag that was filled with chocolates.

"How are you gonna eat all of those?" Ooka asked for the seventh time today.

"Of course he'll eat them one by one. He's so romantic that way!" Yamato teased.

It wasn't really a joke.

I recall trying to eat all of them in elementary school. That was horrible.

I just give them to homeless people normally. Even if girls catch me giving them away they won't mind.

"Wait don't we have to retrieve our ball ticket from somebody?" Ooka asked.

"Yeah nearest ball committee officer. Who would that be?" Yamato questioned.

Of course I knew who that was.

The man least likely to be ball committee officer.

Hikigaya Hachiman.

Sensing an opportunity to leave the conversation and find him.

"Don't worry I'll get them." I spoke as I left the classroom

I was already outside when they thanked me.

Of course that was only the beginning.

I had to dodge the horde of girls.

I had to lose them.

Then I had to find the guy.

The first two was easily managed.

I few stern words and they dissipated.

The third not so much. This was Valentine's Day. He would certainly do his best to avoid me.

Checking his usual haunts led nowhere. So I checked the service club.

And to my surprise he was there alone.

"Hey"

"Don't 'hey' me. Knock next time damnit." he retorted.

"Easy, easy. I just wanted to get my tickets."

"Right now? You just missed those two. They took my share and spilt it into two. "You obviously can't be trusted to hand these out seeing as you have no presence." That's how it went I believe." He explained causally.

"So you're not leaving? Need something, God-king of Valentine's Day?" He questioned in a sarcastic tone.

"Looking for some to eat your chocolates without other people realising it ehh?" He questioned again.

"You know that isn't a problem right? You saw me last year right?" I pounced back.

"Oh the homeless shelter. That was awfully nice of you…." He grinned teasingly.

"'Oh he's so helpful to the homeless people". That's what you we're aiming for right?"

"More or less." I ceded as I took a chair.

"So I ask again, what is the God-king of Valentine's Day doing here?"

"No reason. Just wanted an escape of sorts."

"What, you planning on, being a loner? Sorry it's impossible." He remarked coldly but seriously.

"Nah, nothing like that. I just wanted to talk to you. You're coming right?" I asked.

"Unfortunately I have to. But you knew that already. So what are you here for Hayama?"

The irritation in his voice was steadily rising.

"I see, well I'll leave you here. One warning though. Look out. I don't know what for but look out." I warned as I began to leave the room.

"How ominous." He chuckled.

I left and as usual I couldn't do anything.

* * *

Certainly I broke a few hearts that afternoon. To many it was likely their last chance to try to be with me. To me however their chance would have never come.

But they'll forget me, as much as they'll forget these moments of their everyday lives.

As much as this ball will be forgotten.

Everybody was laughing and forgetting. Having fun without a contemplation to the past nor the future.

I wonder how much of this was a celebration of our last three years or whether it was more to forget the forgettable and to highlight the better points.

I suppose this is what happens when you don't get involved, a rather lonely perspective. But it wasn't bad.

But not getting involved was impossible for me. After all the woman that sneakily crept up on me as testament to that effect.

"Hayato-kun! Wha'cha doing? Why aren't you having some fun?! Live a little!"

Haruno suggested.

As a testament to her powers, very few people noticed she was even here. Contrary normal gravitating personality she was hidden. That wasn't to say that she wasn't stunning we she wanted you to see her.

Dressing in a black halter dress, which blended in the setting of the hall. Whether it was intentional or not the dress emphasised her chest as if it was seductively tell the people around her 'come and find me', fruitless as it maybe. Her entire face, from her eyes to her expression radiated a genuine happiness.

"Don't you have something to be doing?" I asked exasperated.

"Nope, I don't really need to do anything really. I'm going to let things continue on its course for today. I had hoped that those two would do something but I'm incognito right now. But I must admit watching all these people laughing and smiling like they want to bring something back is pretty hilarious."

And as usual she'd find her own fun when plans went awary.

"So Hayato, my plans aside, what do you see?" She asked.

"Just people having fun. They're dancing. What more can you see?" I questioned tentatively.

She slapped me in the back. I reeled slightly.

"You're really boring you know. Are you telling me that you've stood here for a few hours, staring at everybody else and you've not thought a hint about why they did things and why they will continue to do things like they have?"

"I don't have such hobbies. You know me well enough. I have no intention of meddling with people's lives." I stanchly opposed.

"You know, everyone thinks like this to a greater or lesser extent right? Whether it be God or a small child everyone thinks 'what is that person thinking?' It's a natural process in building relationships. Your refusal to do speaks heaps about your character, which admittedly is interesting in itself." She informed me.

"You really can't get over how you betrayed her right? One failure was all it took for you to hate the expectations placed on you. Even though you've successfully fulfilled everything from that point on, that one lasted. Even I wonder whether you were in love with me or her…."

"Stop it!" I shouted angrily as I grabbed her hand.

But as normal she just showed me a happy smiling face. 'Go on tell me what you wanted to tell me' it teased.

She continued unfazed.

"That's why you still hang around Hikigaya-kun right?" She teased.

"Enough!"

"Nice emotion." She giggled.

I couldn't stand it so I left.

Purge those thoughts.

Purge them.

Just purge.

I couldn't stand my motives being questioned.

I slid amongst the crowds of people. Occasionally greeting people with an expert fake expression.

I headed backstage.

Prehaps I wanted to find something to help.

Just so I could run away….

Along the way the whispers were getting frantic.

"Crap we can't find the person whose doing the announcements!"

"When are we stopping?"

"We need a distraction!"

"The person's puking in the toilet!"

"Too much to drink!?"

"The guy used the announcements as tissue paper!?"

"Crap only the student council president has the original!"

"Where the frick is she?"

And before I knew it I was in the middle of the fray again.

"Ah Hayama-kun! Can you please replace the announcer?" Cried out one guy.

"Uh sure. Where are the announcements?" I volunteered.

"We're trying to find the President but we can't contact her."

"We need a distraction quickly, people wanted to know what's being announced."

"Don't you have bands?" I suggested.

"No, they've left and their equipment's gone."

"Nobody's willing to stand in." Another cried despairingly.

But amongst all that chaos, one strong voice resounded through the air.

"Do you still have stereo?" Ordered a familiar feminine voice.

"Uh yes but what are you intending?" A ball planner replied hesitantly.

Sparing no time for answers she barked her next order.

"Play me the songs for the dances quickly! All of them in order." Ordered the girl once more.

They had no choice but to submit to the girl's will.

It was as expected of the existence known as Yukinoshita Yukino.

"Hikigaya-kun. We're dancing! Get out there." She commanded.

The boy in question who was frantically trying to contact Isshiki yelped.

"Oi that's way too out there!" He complained.

She just glared at him. 'You have no choice' she expressed.

Even he couldn't resist.

"But you better have something planned okay? I can't dance you know?" He told her whilst grinning.

Was he actually willing to do this?

So what does that say about him and her?

"Oi, Hayama. Drag her out of that toilet will you." He ordered whist he threw his phone at me.

I barely could react in time.

Whatever they intended, they had taken charge of the fumbling group.

Whatever they intended they had righted path that this ball was to take.

They opened the curtains once more.

And wordlessly without a sound between them, the song began to play.

The first on the list was 'sugar song to bitter step' (Yes yes I just had use Kekkai Sensen's ending).

Yukino started off first and attuned to her decisive nature did not hold back. Slides, hand clicks claps all where in her arsenal.

It was mesmerising to all of us. But perhaps it was the most mesmerising to the boy behind her. Starting off slowly, then he increased his momentum.

They were using different moves, but it was as if they realised that the nature of this song called for freedom, anything could be used on that stage. Nothing contrasted, surprisingly it all fit.

If their individual movements were dazzling then their steady group movements was nothing short of God-like.

Suddenly Hikigaya took the lead, grabbed Yukinoshita's outstretched hands and pulled her into a massive twirl. She landed in a fairly comprising position in his arms.

The next song played, slow one this time. But Yukino had no intention of taking it easy, forcing Hikigaya into a dancing position.

As normal Yukino took complete control of the dance, but even so his confidence grew after a few trial runs. The crowd was taken in by the slow start.

"This is just too crazy." I muttered, in shock.

" _Senpai, what's going on?"_ Isshiki asked through the phone.

I could only answer with a 'come over here'.

The tango, the twist, the Macarena, the Waltz and practically every dance that worked with each of the songs was fully assimilated into their dance.

But perhaps the most profound of all was the things exposed to only a few that knew them personally. Their expressions were that of joy and happiness. They fought with each other all the way, fought each other for supremacy over the dance, both of them not willing to back down from their positions but one bought out the best in the other and vice versa.

Yukinoshita's face was tinted with undiluted joy. As she was pulled along to the next move she grinned. It was likely that she had no idea that expression on her. As her black dressed twirled to the next movement the audience was held in bated breath.

A similar situation occurred to the man the audience had never seen before. His smile devoid of any wit, sarcasm and planning. It was merely one giant grin. That suit that was once an odd fit for him suddenly fell into place.

Unknowingly beside me Isshiki had returned and was silently gazing at the awesome spectacle.

It ended as abruptly as it began, it's players left their stage to the applause of the crowd.

The next few minutes where a blur.

Half-heartedly I read the announcements.

I doubt that anyone paid any attention to the people who went on stage.

I doubt that anyone cared pass that point.

As I left the stage, I was left with something I had known for a long time.

I was powerless.

Powerless to stop her.

Powerless to help the ball committee

Powerless to help Isshiki

Powerless to give peace to everyone.

Powerless to create my own freedoms.

Powerless to realise my own motives

Powerless to resolve anything.

Powerless to help her.

Powerless to atone.

Powerless to understand.

When it came down it to I was a hollow being. A shell of capability.

I would never be able to right the only wrong I had made.

The very reason for my being was extinguished.

I would not be able to bring peace to my existence.

Nor to anyone else's.

I was oblivious to any anguish that this night bought, nor any night or day before.

I no longer had any goals nor desires.

This was the existence known as Hayama Hayato.

All I was left with was my useless thoughts and that disconcerting smile that never ceased….

* * *

Yeah Next chapter done. Hope you liked Hayama's perspectives on the world. Maybe a bit melodramatic towards the end but I think I got the point across.

Next Chapter; if so Yuigahama Yui will.

Please review and I hope that you'll read the next chapters.

I don't own Oregairu.


	3. If so Yuigahama Yui, will

While I'm still motivated to write I'll sure that I continue to write this series. So for today we'll look through the mind of our resident airhead; Yuigahama Yui. Here I'll consider the time to be around the days just before they graduated. Sorry for OCCness I'm not use to using Yuigahama.

* * *

If so Yuigahama Yui will

Yuigahama Yui side.

March 1st.

It was bright. Really bright. Dazzling even. But even so it hurt my eyes. That day confirmed something that I should have known for all long time. Those two where too brilliant. Yukino could tell me to work hard but even so I'll never attain that level where I'll be equal to them.

Perhaps I could work hard but even so I'll never attain my dreams.

People could refute me all they wanted but even so.

I won't attain my current dreams.

Because my dreams lay with him.

I am normal. That was the reality of my existence. Normal family, normal looks, normal friends, less than average grades. But that's what made me stay with the two of them for so long. I wonder if the two of them realise it but those days are going to be fondest memory of my high school days.

But as a normal person, isn't obvious that I'd normally fall in love like normal person? Although I can't remember when I fell in love with him, I definitely did.

Moreover will I be needed? Isn't it obvious that Yukino has a best friend in Hachiman now?

So is this sadness normal?

Is it because I lost my chance?

Is it because I knew that those two are the best for each other?

Is it because I don't know what to do from here on in?

Is it because my happiness relied on these two?

Will I lose everything I hold dear after this?

Maybe in the future I'll forget my despair on this day. But today I am sad.

I bear no ill will to her or to him but obviously I am sad.

* * *

I was graduating soon so I had no reason to pay attention in class.

"That's it class! Class dismissed." Cried out the teacher.

The end of the day. Time to go home.

"Oi Yuigahama."

Hiki had a worried expression on his face. I knew what he was going to ask.

"I'm not going, sorry. I'm rather busy you know, college and all."

"You've been saying that for the past few days as well. Yukinoshita's rather worried too….." Hiki tried to explain.

"No there isn't anything wrong." I replied curtly.

"Look, I don't know people well enough. I could come up with a million ways to explain your actions but none of them would be correct. So I want you to know that if you want to talk to us you can. I guess that's about it. I can't force to come to club but….."

"Thanks Hiki but…." I thanked half-heartedly.

 _I doubt you or Yukinon would be able to help me._

I ran for it as fast as I could.

I didn't even have a direction.

So I ran.

I ran until I couldn't run any further.

"Was this the station?" I asked as I glanced around.

"Oh it's Yui?" questioned a surprised Hayama Hayato.

"Ah Hayato-kun. Yahallo! What are you doing here?" I asked in an attempt to cover my sadness.

"Have you been crying?" He asked.

I think I must have had a bewildered look then.

"Tears." He quickly pointed out.

So I was tearing up?

"Running away?" He asked again.

I nodded.

"Was it because of the two of them?" He asked with amazing clarity.

"As expected of Hayato-kun." I regarded.

"I don't deserve such praise." He dismissed.

"Yui, you'd better leave. I'm meeting some here."

Hayato's face was clearly distressed, as if the person he was meeting was unwelcome. That I'd never want to get involved with this person.

At that moment a beautiful young lady appear behind Hayato-kun. A female that exuded female dominance and an overbearing sensuality. Her face was so close to his face you'd think that she intended to bite him or kiss him. She mumbled to something to Hayato.

Haruno Yukinoshita. A person even less understood than a normal human. That much I did know. She wore a smile that expressed 'you're the most interesting person here, I'm glad to have met you'. She was the complete opposite to Yukino who struggled to smile. That smile was tested and true.

"Ah, Haruno-san. Hello." I greeted stiffly.

"Ah Yuigahama-san. Nice to meet you! It's been a while right?" She greeted whilst offering her hand.

"Haruno. Let's go, she has nothing to do with this." Hayama pleaded.

"No can do. As I surmise she is in need of a reality check as well. You two are my subjects for the day."

"Ah no need to be concerned about me….I'm fine, you two can do as you please." I urged more out of fear than politeness.

"She isn't that same as me. She has friends, a life to lead." Hayato struggled.

"Well you're right there, Hayato. Okay since you don't want her involved in your problems then I'll deal with her first. You're tagging along Hayato but I'll deal with her now, kay?"

Ignoring the pleas of those under her she continued on her overbearing path. Seeing as there was no point I resigned. Nodding I let her lead me on.

"Well for now we'll all go to that café. You can tell me all about your feelings Yuigahama-san!"

Was I simply far too used to being guided by other people. I think I myself knew that much. After all how would I explain being egged on by Haruno-san? As I delved into all my problems, all the one concerning that night, what happened to be before, what I've done and what my life was like, she sat their looking bored. I wasn't paying attention but after a while she began to lose her happy smile. It was as if she didn't really need me to continue. She had found what she needed, confirming whatever it was she needed.

"So that's about it." I concluded nervously.

She began to smile again.

"Yuigahama-san. Have you noticed a common theme within all of your efforts?"

I shook my head.

"Hayato, notice anything?"

Silently he nodded in response.

"Okay then please me. When you decided to run for presidency a year ago, why did you do so?"

"To protect the service club." I blurted out.

"Quite correct. So the next question then is; why did you want to protect the service club?" she asked with an every growing grin.

"Because, I wanted to protect the place where I thought I belonged." I continued.

She seemed satisfied with her answer.

"Yui-san. Can I call you that?"

I nodded.

"Yui-san. One last question. Why did you belong in the service club?"

That was a hard question. Why did I connect with a detached loner and girl whose standing was far beyond mine? Why was I okay when I was scolded by Yukinon or Hikki? I was the odd one, out so why?

"Let me answer that for you. You find belonging there because that's the place where you're the most 'Yui Yuigahama.' She answered.

"I don't really get it." I answered confused.

"Think of it this way. By being with them you can speak your mind. You certainly don't come off as a person who can easily stand above others. A person like you would likely have their opinions lowered or at least you wouldn't have the confidence to speak your mind." She explained.

I nodded hesitantly.

"Well with those two, there isn't a class hierarchy nor do they expect anything from you. To them you're simply a good friend. Okay I don't really know about him but with Yukino-chan then that's pretty obvious. So you're free to do as you please, you're free to express your own opinions and wills to them. They won't lower them at all. In short the service club is a place where 'Yui Yuigahama' can free express herself as the true 'Yuigahama Yui'.

She took the words straight out of my mouth.

"In short the reason why you protected the club is to protect your individuality. After all their isn't a assurance that you'll find another set of people that let you be 'Yui' if they broke after all. And besides you'd definitely be unhappy if you lost your friendships. You after all are normal."

"That isn't the case. I just want to help…" I protested unhappily

"Yeah, yeah. 'I just wanted to help them'. Please cut the selfless bullcrap." She ordered in a bored expression.

"Look, any human has wishes. Call them wishes or desires it doesn't matter. Look, no matter what any human does, humans will do it for their own sake. Whether they consciously to it or whether they do its subconsciously in selflessness, human will act for their desires and happiness. Even a missionary does it to gain happiness and salvation. In that case you are the same, you fought to protect your own happiness. Of course I'm not blaming you, after all if I did I'd be blaming the entire human race." She explained seriously.

"But here's the problem Yui-chan. A good lot of your desires are fixated on other people. In a crazy form of logic that means that you're existence is tied down to other people. So then what happens when your love conflicts with your desire to protect your happiness with your friends then such conflict naturally occurs. Again that means the thing that forms the basis of your existence is about to be breached. Oh not to mention you're not going to the same college as they are. The rest of your life is on the line." She told me.

"So was I correct?" She asked in a teasing fashion.

There wasn't a way for me to answer properly. How was I supposed to react? Besides my situation hadn't changed in the slightest.

"So what cha gonna do Yui-chan?" She asked in a fun loving manner.

I didn't answer.

"Well I sorta expected silence. Well I don't mind giving you all the answers but that'll go against my beliefs." She explained.

"You have beliefs?" Hayama scoffed.

"Of course. I'm not a will-less monster. I'm a _wilful_ monster. Well I'm not inclined to tell you everything Yuigahama Yui. Perhaps it wasn't your intention but any more than this and you'll be relying on me. And I've had that happen to me more than enough times to know that it gets boring. And on top of that, I'd undone all the work I've done in the past few minutes."

"Now go! Do as you please and hope that it pleases your will." She shooed me out with a hand.

* * *

I left the café and with nothing to do I made it back home. I didn't eat despite the protest of my parents. I lay there waiting for something to pass and something to give me reason to move. I'm not logical, I can't think straight. I can't think of convoluted plots. I can't be resolute. I'll sway from one side to the other. You'd think that a person so emotional like me would understand what to do at this point but even at a standstill between my wishes and my friends…..

"Maybe I should disappear." I mumbled.

"Yeah that's right if I disappear, they'd be free to do as they please. Yeah that's right if hadn't appeared…"

"That's right if I hadn't fallen in love with him…"

"Well that's certainly not hard. I've only got a few days right? Two days and then I can fade away. Better now right? I can start the healing process sooner right? I'll get over him sooner right?"

But tears were beginning to fall.

"I can do it right?! I can forget right? It's for the best right. Dammit why am I crying? It's for the best right? To let go is a better option right?"

"This is the correct option dammit!" I screamed in an attempt to justify my own thoughts.

Suddenly a light turned on, coming from my phone.

"A text from an unknown number?"

 _Yui-chan? It's me Haruno! By this time I'm betting that you're thinking 'maybe I should disappear' right? As a quaint bit of advice that I failed to give you, let me tell you to listen to your tears! But before you do please listen to my bias opinion. I really don't want you to disappear. Why you ask? Well let me say that if you disappear more than one person would be sad, I certainly do not want a regression on my hands."_

 _Oh on another note, I'd be happy if you saved this number of mine. Oh and if you don't answer in a couple of minutes, I'll assume that you're going to do something terrible and I'll stop you whether you wanted to or not._

"I'll hurt more people? By disappearing?"

"But I'm not important, I biggest claim to importance I have is being in the service club."

Something urged me to dig deeper.

"Service club….Yukinon? Hikki?"

 _Push on. Go on reach._

"Wasn't I their friend? Yeah I was!"

"Didn't she cry? Didn't she rely on me? Didn't she say 'please wait for me.'?"

"Didn't he want something genuine? Didn't he cry to get there!?"

"Didn't they rely on me to be their friend, no matter what? Didn't I try to save them, so that we could remain there together? Didn't I save them so that we could form something?!To form something that all of us wished for!"

"So what was I doing here!? So what I was doing here attempting to break these things!?"

"Won't they cry if I disappear? If I betray them, then they'll never be able to recover!"

"I'll never be able to live with the guilt! If there is an afterlife then I'll rot! If not then I'll become a ghost!"

"But more importantly I'll be unhappy! I'll lose even more things! Even if I lose his love, I don't need to let go of her friendship nor his either!"

"What kinda crap! Was! I Thinking! About!" I screamed.

I quickly texted Haruno-san.

 _Thank You._

"Yui, what's wrong?" my mother cried out in concern.

"Nothing ma! I've just realised that I've got to do something!"

I slumped back to my bed. Was this happiness? Was this clarity of mind? In any case, here I was ready to set things right.

* * *

"I'm sorry!"

I bowed.

"What I did, it was unforgivable! Yukinon, Hikki!"

"Please raise your head, Yuigahama-san." Yukinon told me.

"I can't. What I did. What I was going to do. I can't forgive myself!"

"Oi, oi enough Yuigahama. We don't need this." Hikki implored.

"We're just happy that you're okay. So we don't need your apology." Yukino explained

"It's just, it's just. Please, don't, don't ever do that again." She conversed quietly.

She wasn't crying, but she didn't need to. That look of relief was all that I needed

"I'm sorry. I made you worry."

I hugged her.

"Stop saying sorry, okay."

I must have clung on to her for a while."

*Cough* *Cough*

"Oi, please save your acts of yuri for a later date, Yurigahama-san."

"Hey this is a touching reunion. Deal with it Hikki." I retorted.

"Yuigahama-san, as much as I agree with you on this matter, please stop clinging to me. It's becoming rather hot."

"Ah sorry."

The sun was just about to set. Was this going to be the last sunset that'll ever see in this clubroom?

"Hey, you two. You'll keep in contact right?"

"What do you mean?" Yukinon questioned.

"We aren't going to the same college right?"

"No we aren't." She replied saddened.

"So that means we should meet up regularly!" I exclaimed.

"Nah I'll be too busy." Hikki shot down.

"At least think about it!" I implored.

"I can't speak for the cretin over there, but I can say that'll try to make the time. I can't make too many promises though Yuigahama-san." Yukinon assured.

"Yeah Hikki you can make some time right? Apart from school you'll have nothing to do right? You don't have many friends right?" I questioned.

"Oi, leave me alone!" He shouted.

"Yuigahama-san, please be more considerate." Yukinon half-scolded.

"I don't need your consideration if it's ending up like that!"

"Hikkineet, just be glad that some took the time to care for your wellbeing." Yukinon retorted.

Hikki scoffed.

"I can look after myself thank you. I'll have you know that I've recently been able to cook curry. I'm all set for independence."

"If that's your version of independence, then I for one feel sorry for Komachi-san."

"Hey all I need is a beautiful woman who'll overlook my flaws! Then I'm set!" Hikki insisted.

"Hikigaya-kun, that'll only happen in the event of a zombie invasion. Which will never happen…Ehk! Ah, Yuigahama-san look! It started the zombie invasion started already." Yukinon exclaimed whilst pointing to Hikki.

"Hahaha very funny. You should get into acting. You'll make the best Yuki-onna in film history!" He replied sarcastically.

I wasn't really paying attention at that point. Did they notice? Did they see that they're eyes grew brighter and brighter? Did they realise their faces would grow wider and wider. And as I gazed I realised that this was meant to be. I was to be their friend and nothing more. The story of Hachiman X Yui must be written in another dimension. That brought tears to my eye. Hot, frustrating tears.

"Yuigahama-san, are you okay?" Yukinon probed as she saw my tears.

"Yeah, I'm just happy that everybody is back again." I lied.

"I'm just crying for all those things that could have been as well. That's all." I added.

I could tell that they didn't get it. But its fine, they didn't have to get it.

*Ring* *Ring*

*Yumiko*

"Oh Yumiko! Yahallo! What's up?"

" _Hayato….He." She told me bluntly._

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

" _He was so mad, 'I don't want to hear this again! I don't want to hear from you two again!" That's what he said."_

"You two?"

I asked that question but I knew the answer to that immediately.

"SENPAIIIIII!"

My story ends here. But other stories will continue, that's what I learnt on that tear filled day.

* * *

That's a wrap folks! Hope you enjoyed it. Please review if you want to.

The next title should be;

Hachiman Hikigaya will not.

I don't own Oregairu at all or else all other ships will be sinking by now.


	4. Hachiman Hikigaya will not

Well let's get down to it. Let's begin the April adventures of our heroes. Today's special guest is no other than our favourite protagonist; Hachiman Hikigaya. Watch as he deals with the ever increasing tension as the sky becomes warmer, his relationships become warmer, his enemies remain as ambiguous as ever and as he steps closer to that 'genuine' thing one mistaken step at a time.

So enjoy the next instalment of 'One Year'. A story which if I had my way would be an alternate dimension.

Hachiman Hikigaya will not

* * *

Hachiman Hikigaya side – April.

Did I ever mention that when the sky starts becoming warmer I start becoming more uncomfortable?

Maybe it's because when it's warmer people tend to force me to go outside and do stuff. (Ahh crap why is it so hot outside?)

But even so I doubt it's because of that.

Maybe it's because all the new spring anime start now and I'm unhappy at the possible screw up to a long awaited series. (But wait, that was every season for the two years or so).

No it was definitely not something as cheesy as that.

No perhaps it had something to do with the innumerable amount of people in this park, in this one day.

Yes, that was it. It was the stifling crowd.

This was the season where people tended to do more brazen things.

It was the season of new growth or so they say. Where you truly beginning the year. The birds are singing and the flowers are opening. Nature itself wants you to enjoy life. The new school year has begun and new relationships can be formed, you'll meet a nice girl this season, your new boss will be good to you, you'll try harder this year, you'll live more this year, this year will be a year of the new you!

But hold up. I have to ask. These were all expectations right? So what happens when they fail on you? What happens when you can't start a new like Jesus? What happens when your new boss is just the same? What happens when almost immediately the new school year burdens you with new responsibilities? What happens when you fail to find love? Or worse still find that your 'love' is about as rotten as the dead guy floating down the river.

The answer isn't as easy as saying despair.

That was simply one of the many potential answers.

It isn't easy to supply an answer.

Nor will it ever be.

So why is it that in the situation that I was made privy to, it reeks of someone trying to find that answer?

" _SENPAI! He, he, he. Hayama-senpai! He was so!"_

This was the barely literate beginning to this tall tale.

A cruel end to the love of a young maiden.

A fairly typical opening to a cheesy romance.

Change it from 'young maiden' to 'cunningly street smart girl' and it'll be all correct.

Expect that this was truly an end.

Isshiki Iroha's heart has been spent.

But not only that, dashed by the young hero that she admired.

Tragic? Hardly. One could only call it a tragedy if it doesn't happen on a regular basis. This type of thing happens on a regular basis.

What was odd and at a stretch you could call 'tragic' was the method. A loud and screaming Hayama Hayato? That in itself raised questions.

It was obvious then that those two would come with a request.

" _Please, what is he really like?"_

That honest request, drawn from a stream of tears and rejection, nobody could deny them. It was to become the service club's last request. (We if we have Hiratsuka-sensei's opinion it's really just the last of this iteration).

And so here I was mulling over this big problem, in a park, in the afternoon, during my precious day during Golden Week!

Ah seriously what the hell!?

What the hell was I doing wasting my good time?!

College has been stressful lately! Damn mom and pops, telling to go do law!

I wanna go home!

EHKKK!

What the hell was that!?

"I found a corpse! Maybe I should phone the police?!" Cried out a familiar female voice.

Wearing a azure t-shirt and black jeans, was Yukinoshita

"Oh it's merely Hikigaya-kun. For a second there….."

"Yes, yes. Enough.. Do you want me to finish? 'I though you were a corpse because….you know…your eyes…'" I dismissed in my best intimation of her voice.

She mumbled something.

Wait was she spacing out!?

"Oi, oi. Yukinoshita! What the hell am I here for?!"

"Ugh. Wonderful your voice is enough to bring back miserable memories of reality."

"Leave me alone! You called me here! So what am I doing here?"

"You didn't get my text? Maybe your eyes are just all round bad." She remarked.

"I got your text. Just explain by what you meant by 'You're meeting Hayama-kun."

"Don't tell me you forgot the request?"

"I didn't forget. Just explain what you hope to achieve by me meeting up with Hayama."

"You do realise that, you are perhaps are the only person with a grip on Hayama's true self.."

"What about you?"

"I don't. I just don't…." She cut off forcefully.

Was that a pained look?

"In any case, you're the only one that can talk him into it." She dismissed with a stern look.

"Alright, I'll humour you. But don't expect any results." I accepted begrudgingly.

After all was one's 'true self' so easy to extract from a bit of talking? I doubt that. The philosophers of every age have tried to understand what a 'self' is comprised of. None have come with anything conclusive. If people themselves struggle to find out what they were really, how could I born of different circumstance possibly understand?

" _Everyone as their own little internal world. A secret little garden only they can enter. Each world follows its own internal logic-individuality. And the logic of one world means nothing to another. Understanding people isn't hard. It's impossible."_ **1**

It was a quote from a game that I once played. (The main character was a loner but that's beside the point). I will certainly be unable to understand the being known as Hayama Hayato. That quote agrees with me.

"Even so, I think that you can do it." She told me.

"So do your best okay." She encouraged with a bright smile.

Oi oi don't give me something like that! At this rate I won't be able to help it but to try my hardest!

As if reading my mind she responded.

"That's the whole point, idiot." She whispered barely registering to my ears.

"I'll be shopping with Yuigahama-san. If you need me text or something okay." Yukinoshita farewelled.

Before I could respond back her back was already turned.

"What the hell where you even here for?" I wondered as I chuckled.

30 minutes later.

Wasn't this too hot for a typical spring day?

Oh most certainly.

It wasn't helped by the person who currently faced me.

Perhaps 'glaring' is a better word.

Hayama Hayato was glaring at me.

He was glaring at me, who was casually sitting on the bench.

I hadn't felt so intimidated in a while.

"Where is she?" he asked with a piercing glare.

"You must have been pretty out of it if you thought that she'd actually meet you." I countered.

"Alright then if she doesn't have any business with me." He curtly told me in an attempt to leave.

"Hold it. She does have business with you, I'm just here as her proxy." I stopped him.

"Okay then. Out with it." He demanded.

Yes this was certainly not 'Hayama Hayato'. A person that took insults and mentions of hatred with a smile was the 'Hayama Hayato' I knew. This irritable, angry fellow was in many ways a layer underneath.

I took a deep breath as I challenged the dragon.

"Why'd you yell at them huh?" I asked.

"Oh, this is what this is about huh?" He pondered as his faced darkened

"You should of heard from them right? I didn't want to see them again." He forced his answer weakly.

"Cut the crap, I know that. Why'd you said such things? I'm asking that." I continued to demand.

"Do I need to explain everything to you? I'm not obligated to tell you everything about me!" He shouted.

"I don't want 'everything'. What kinda rat's ass, wants to know everything about you?" I questioned.

"Don't know. Perhaps it's those two." He admitted.

I nodded.

"As I suspected. If only they left me alone….." He began weakly.

"And as for your little game, Hikigaya. Leave it. Ignore their pleads. You can do it right mister 'heartless loner?'" Hayama questioned provokingly.

"You know that I can't do that."

His face contorted to pure anger.

"Oh you're so bloody nice Hikigaya. What did they give you? A good night's kiss?"

"You know that isn't the case!" I growled

"Well then if you don't have a bloody reason then leave it!" he exclaimed.

"All you people instinctively search for the truth. Their image of 'Hayama Hayato' is gone. So they search for the truth behind it!" He growled louder.

"They search for it even though they don't understand what it means to search for it! People search for the truth like it a god damned right! They'll never understand even with the bloody truth! Then oh, then they'll be all sad crying 'where did all our happiness go?" He mocked.

"Hey their wishes aren't the ones at fault here!" I defended.

"F #k it Hikigaya! Don't act like some saint! Of course such a wish isn't wrong from your stand point! A blind bat who can't see the fault in his own wishes can't make a proper judgement!" He countered.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You know exactly what I mean! 'Something genuine?' it doesn't matter if it's sorrowful? That's stupid. Placing yourself in sorrow? Placing others in sorrow? That has to be the worse bloody wish in the history of mankind!" He shouted.

He looked like he was about to punch the hell out of me. But it wasn't as intimidating as before. What sort of anger was he showing at that moment? That twisted look on his face wasn't as simply read as 'being pissed off'. But even so I couldn't back down.

"….right."

"Huh! What the hell did you say?" He demanded

"You don't have a right to say such things!" I growled back.

"Yeah, I don't." He relayed dispassionately.

"So the same should apply to you as well right?" He questioned with a sad look of regret.

"If you don't want to be questioned, stop interfering with me okay." He cut off.

It seems that he regained his composure. But whatever mask he had once one was broken. All he had was a look of sadness.

"You know Hikigaya, I told you that I hated you once right?" He recalled.

"Well I wasn't lying. I do hate you."

"Not you yourself. The 'you' as a person, I wouldn't mind liking."

"But the situation you're in, the freedom that you live in, the choices that you can make, the goals that you can strive for. That's what I hate."

"After all its mere envy. No righteousness involved. Just plain stupid envy." He resigned.

He turned around.

"Good bye, Hikigaya. I don't really want to see you again. And for that matter I don't really want to see her again. But if their comes a time where a foolish wish like yours can be answered, for better or for worse, then maybe, I'll see something good. But until then." He said.

I waited for that bastard to leave.

"Che, that bastard making a bloody fuss then not telling me anything." I cursed quietly.

"And what the hell am I gonna do? I don't want to see her face after I failed to extract any viable information." I muttered.

"Well you could entertain me for a bit." Offered that sing-songy voice.

"I really don't want to entertain your idea of 'entertaining'. Yukinoshita-san" I responded to the heartless woman who snuck behind me.

"Oh, so formal. Your sister warmed up to me, so you're the only one." She remarked.

"My sister?" I asked confused.

"Yeah I met her a few times. We've got common goals so we've come to an understanding. By the way she tends to call me 'in law'-san."

"Leaving aside that faulty mistake that my sister made, why was she even with you? What common goals can you possibly have with my sister? As far as I'm concerned my sister isn't a scheming cunning woman." I questioned.

"It's a secret, Hikigaya-kun. Besides, it more fun to see you struggle to figure things out." She responded with a happy smile.

"So on that note. What to you make of his anger? Oh and by the way I was glad that you defended your wish so strongly." She urged.

"I don't really know. All I know is his anger isn't that obvious to understand."

"So you're stumped?" She asked?

I nodded.

"Well that is rare. What are you scared? About learning about him?" She continued.

"No, I'm not about to speculate over something I don't have a firm grip on." I denied.

"That's pretty boring ya know. If people didn't speculate beyond what they knew people like me wouldn't exist, and for that matter people who built this current world wouldn't exist either." She regarded.

"And besides. I've got this feeling that you don't really want to know at all. You've got a request so you're gonna keep up appearances, but unlike your normal self your brain simply isn't working well. So could it be that you're scared to know more?" She asked with increasing vigour.

"No it isn't like that." I furiously denied again.

It seems at that time she had already snuck behind me. Planting her entire body weight on me I began to sag. I'm afraid to say but something else but her body's weight distracted me.

*Squish* *Squish*

Oi get off me! Oh but at least something is nice…..

"Yah know Hikigaya, you absolutely suck at hiding your true feelings. If you're gonna convince someone that something isn't like that furiously denying it isn't gonna help. I'll give you some advice as senior in hiding one's emotions." She whispered to me.

"Oh and don't even bother denying that you didn't like the feeling of my breasts on your back… Your blush is all I need to know." She teased like a seductress.

I released myself from her grip. With a look of disgust on my face.

"Oh a disgusted face huh? While that makes me unhappy that you would reject my advances, the face that you rejected me raises questions. What you want to keep your purity for a certain someone?" She pondered.

"Is it for Yukino-chan?" She wondered.

"No, isn't." I rejected coldly.

"Scary….Ha ha ha ha ha. You know Hikigaya, you never bore me you know? What you don't like me mentioning Yukino-chan? Like to be her knight or something?" She teased.

"Are you that scared? Scared that you'll break things again? Scared that you'll break your preceptions of her again? Scared of breaking your relationships again? Scared of hurting? Scared of moving forward?"

"Well here a little warning. It'll definitely be a good warning for you."

"Do you want to know of a man who's taken those fears to its natural but extreme conclusion?"

"Hayama Hayato, that boy who hates you is such a man. Yes he isn't so much of your foil anymore Hikigaya. No, in some sense he is an alternate path for you. He is to you like Archer is to Shirou. ***2** A man who was hurt once and began to reject everything in order to never be hurt."

"The natural conclusion is obvious. A bitter, confused boy with little direction. That is the boy known as Hayama Hayato." She concluded.

"I do wonder what kind of 'true self' those two wished for Hayama. Was it something straight out of a manga? 'Family problems'? 'Anger issues?' 'Depression? Did they really think they could help him? It's impossible. Helping people requires understanding. Understanding requires full emersion into another's internal world world. That last point is far too hard for people with a sense of 'self'. Did they think that they could help him with a few measly words?"

"A man with no self cannot be helped." She continued as she chuckled.

But then her laughter stopped and was replaced by a atmosphere rivalling the south pole.

"They're so bloody boring." She concluded coldly.

"I was thinking that something interesting was gonna happen if their hopes and dreams were crushed in front of my eyes."

"You bitch!" I cursed.

"Hikigaya-kun I didn't do anything. No influence, no nothing. It was merely the natural conclusion that Hayato made. Or what did you want him to keep up his fake life to please them? How contradictory, so contradictory…." She provoked.

It seems that she was on the verge of laughter.

"By the way. What about you guys?"

"Nothing is wrong, it doesn't need to change." I forcefully asserted.

But such an assertion was useless to her eternal smile.

"Oh but it has. That girl seems to have made her decision. But I wonder if such a decision will come to bite her in the back or whether it'll be useful in the end. And you should stop being so blind to it. No in fact you're not blind you're just intentionally ignoring it. Is your friendship so important that your wish and desires must be supressed? No it shouldn't but you seem to be in a world where that seems to take precedence."

What did she mean? Who did she mess with?

"In fact it's kinda like mama, papa, and his parents. They're quite idiotic I must say…." She thought as she giggled.

"And the irony of the matter, the truly lame yet funny matter of it is this; the way that you're going you'll attain nothing. "The past makes you want to die of regret and the future is makes you fearful from anxiety, so by the process of elimination the present is the best." Your words right?"

"I know that you we're fed some nice stuff from Hiratsuka sensei but here's the deal. You can't expect everything to be sorted out by the future. The most important time is now, because the future will be created now." She reminded.

"Now go on Hikigaya, break things as you must, restore things as you please, help as you must. Let me see the fulfilment of your world! Or at the very least let me see your world break in the most explosive manner possible!"

"Now that Hiratsuka sensei is no longer your teacher, I'll be your guide. And so your first piece of homework is thus. 'Find out more about her.' No date limits." She declared brazenly without a hint of hesitation.

I was shooed off by Haruno Yukinoshita. I had no intention of bending to her will.

Yet the point was that she bought to light a part of things that I had no longer wished to see.

Things will change, that is the natural conclusion.

Was it wrong to believe in idealism like I had wished for?

No I and even she didn't deny such things.

But my fulfilment up to now, has been a waste.

That warm feeling that I had felt was merely a warm disguise to things that I had closed my eyes to.

To say that she was bitter, to say she was malicious, and to say anything beyond the fact that she was Haruno Yukinoshita was as misunderstanding at best.

I say I like her was a stretch consider I dislike her. But she was right about on thing.

I shouldn't been concerned with the Hayama case.

A man with no sense of self was the answer. The only answer necessary.

But.

What was I to do?

What is the end goal?

I wouldn't know.

Was it after I had broken everything that I needed to break?

Nay or aye. Nobody could say.

The end

Hope you enjoyed this instalment. You'll find parallels between this and last weeks episode but it'll all goods. I'm sorta pissed that people dismiss Haruno's opinion on the matter of the trio, it's a very valid opinion even if it's dripping with malice.

REFRENCES

* **1-** Quote by Joshua from 'The World Ends With You'. (Amazing quote by the way.)

* **2-** Kinda spoilers for Fate/Stay Night; Unlimited Blade Works.

Next title; Yukino Yukinoshita is.

I don't own Oregairu at all.


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